Disclaimer: The following is entirely a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
1 John 4:18: There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
She was late again. The traffic was unforgivable, as always. For the second time this month, Keira was in a silk dress she couldn’t breathe in and suede heels she could hardly walk in. She had to wake up extra early to fix her hair and make-up. Beside her on the passenger seat was a matching clutch bag and a pink invitation. She was going to a wedding.
It was a perfect day to get married. The sun was bright and there was hardly a cloud in the sky, but the heat was horrendous; the car air-conditioner was barely helping. On top of that, she didn’t actually understand why she was going in the first place. The invitation was from one of their neighbors. The groom was someone she knew by face but hardly had a chance to get to know. She worked most hours of the day. All she wanted to do at home was sleep. Their fathers were close, so somehow that must have necessitated an invitation. Keira was too polite to decline. So there she was, running late for the most important day in the lives of two people who probably didn’t know how old she was.
Needless to say, Keira arrived late. By the time she entered the church, the couple were signing their marriage contracts. It’s generally bad practice to miss the actual wedding ceemony and just attend the reception. She was sorry, but she couldn’t do anything about it now. The gospel’s been read, the sermon given, the rings worn, and the vows declared. Too bad, Keira thought. She loved the vows. It was among the short list of reasons that motivated her to attend the wedding.
Soon enough, everyone was travelling to the reception, and Keira had to battle the late morning traffic congestion. There was no pressure this time, though. She was just looking forward to a hopefully good party, with an entertaining host, original games, lots of picture-taking and a scrumptious buffet.
The party went smoothly enough. It was everything a regular wedding usually had, filled with quirky remarks and cute slideshows, with friends and family celebrating the couple’s relationship. Nothing particularly different or memorable. Right after the Best Man’s and Maid of Honor’s speech, Keira was just about to politely exit, but the groom suddenly called everyone’s attention.
I’m sorry everyone. I know you’re pretty much bored right now, and I know neither the bride nor groom should make any more speeches, but I don’t think I’ll get another chance to do this again. So if you will, hear me out and bear with me for a while. I assure you, I’m not drunk. I just have something to share.
There was a collective laughter. Everyone, including the bride, gave a look of surprise.
You may all be wondering why I chose to do it at this time. I had the microphone all to myself when I said my vows. I wrote all those words with all my heart, and I didn’t forget anything. Don’t worry, honey. But time was limited back there in the church, and I didn’t want to bore you all to death waiting for us to kiss. So here I am, grabbing the stage again, for my wife and for all of you who still care to listen. Though I know my words can never suffice, let me attempt to describe how much I love this woman, the woman who agreed to be my wife.
This woman has been my friend long before I fell for her. She was there when I didn’t take love, romance, or relationships too seriously. She knew how I would casually date, how I would have fun, and how I never dared to commit to anyone. She was there to occasionally scold me when she felt that I was playing with a girl’s affections. In stark contrast, my wife was, and continues to be, a hopeless romantic. She would tell me her fantasies of love and marriage, not to mention how she would pine over her latest Prince Charming. We were certain at the time that we could never end up together. We had entirely different ideas about love to be able to feel it for each other, so we settled for friendship. To this day, that friendship is the most precious gift we share, and the silly, quirky, happy moments in that friendship are among my sweetest memories.
One day, we were sitting on a bench in college, watching the sunset and preparing to enjoy the weekend. Looking back, that was one romantic moment, but all I could think about then was the hamburger I was eating, while she was flipping through one of her classic novels. I don’t recall how that conversation started. We were contemplating if I would ever take a woman seriously. It must have been the twilight zone kicking in or the burger making me sleepy, but somehow I got kind of emotional. I told her that I was probably afraid. While I had my share of dates, I never did have the guts to be in a proper relationship. I didn’t know how to, and I was scared of getting hurt, or making mistakes. I was afraid I couldn’t meet the demands. I was a good date, but I didn’t think I’d be a good boyfriend. I had too many things going on in my life. I just didn’t know how I could possibly give another person my love and time.
To all of this, all she did was smile. She told me that if she ever saw me in a relationship, she would conclude that I was really, truly, deeply in love. I asked her why, puzzled as to why she could so easily derive something like that. To that question, she replied, “Only great love can drive away great fear.”
I’ll never forget those words, or that moment when I was looking at her as she said them. That was the moment I realized that I was in love. I realized that I’ve been in love for a long, long time. I don’t know exactly when it all started. I don’t know what made me believe that was actually love. At that moment, I just knew. I had always been afraid of love, and when I knew I was in love with her that fear still crept in. What if she didn’t like me? Or if she preferred someone else? What would happen to those carefree afternoon walks with her? Or those late night study-and-coffee sessions? Yet something kept telling me to love her, to a point when I couldn’t keep it to myself. I was pushed to overcome those fears. I didn’t need to wonder how I would give her my love and time, because I knew she already had it, and I was eager to give her more. With her, I courted for the very first time in my life. I won’t bore you with all the details. Suffice to say that it brought us to this day, the day that I became the proud husband of the woman who taught me how to love.
Throughout the course of our relationship, I learned that she got that idea from 1 John, which says, ‘There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.’ It’s been my favorite love verse ever since. And I know it transcends romantic relationships. It’s the same love that allows a mother to triumph over the fear of childbirth, the one that overcomes a fear of failure for a career you love, the kind that people die for and live for.
I’ve been in love with so many things and have overcome so many fears. I’m grateful to be married to the one person who showed me how blessed I am with so much love. This is the same love that gave me courage to tell her mother that I would court her, the love I had when I braved that roller coaster she wanted to ride so much, a love that overpowers a fear of getting hurt a million times. Our relationship hasn’t been easy, I tell you, and I’m still afraid of the problems and the pain that I don’t know of. Despite all these, I am ready to face those fears head on, holding the hand of the woman who was with me when I faced my fear of falling in love, only to realize that I was madly in love with her. Today is my greatest accomplishment, for today is the day I became her husband. I love you so much, honey.
There was a pause as the groom approached his bride, as they kissed one more time, followed by an uproar of applause. People were wiping their tears and shouting their best wishes. Keira let her tears fall and smiled at the back. She still had to go, but now she wasn’t complaining about why she had to attend. She was overcome by the words, the moment, the grand celebration of love. When the cheering died down, she quietly bid the couple farewell, hoping that one day she would find a love that would overcome her fears.
Kaira has been invited to several weddings in her life, mostly for relatives or family friends. As a kid, she saw these occasions as nothing more than opportunities to dress up, wear make-up, and get free food. Through the years, though, as she paid attention to the ceremony, to the little details put into the preparation, to the entire sequence of events that constitute the celebration, she began to take in the grandiosity of it all. While it’s the same ceremony that unites two people in marriage, it is made unique by the genuine emotions conveyed amongst those intricacies. All those little details put forth to bring out those moments worth living for, moments like the one she had just witnessed.
She was glad she came, because she learned something new. She learned that there’s always something magical about weddings, whatever part you play in the ceremony. It doesn’t matter if you’re not close with the bride or groom, or if you barely know five people at the reception. There’s just something enchanting about the words that are said, the looks that are exchanged, the unity among friends and family, and the love that put it all together. To attend a wedding is to see the end of a lifetime of waiting for that special person, and to witness the beginning of their new life as a couple. The list of reasons to attend a wedding may be short, but tonight, Keira realized that they were worth it.
Ella Thinks Aloud 