I abhor all these emotions
that draw me closer to his eyes,
How I can’t refuse his wishes,
And nor can I resist his smile.
I tell myself, “No more of this!”
And for a while I do succeed,
But right then he comes back my way,
And I let love grow like a weed.
How do I dare focus my sights
on a man who was never mine?
And how can I give my own heart
when I am not even his bride?
I long for a love that pursues,
Like how the sea longs for the shore,
But if God says he is a friend,
I dare not ask for any more.
O, dear Father I ask of You,
To please show me the proper way,
If these feelings are not from You,
Then please, please do take them away.
I know I am a foolish daughter,
Thinking this is the love I need,
Forgive me for my impatience,
When I awaken love while it sleeps.
I pray for some much needed strength,
For a heart I must learn to guard,
For the trust and faith and patience,
No matter how I find it hard.
Forgive me for my stubborn soul,
Holding on to imagined love,
A careless fawn that scorns the wise
Forgetting that You are enough.
Direct my eyes, to You, o God,
So that I may finally see,
That Your love fills this empty space,
And Your grace overflows in me.